She came back inside, holding her bowl of water she filled from the well, through the broken wall in the back of the building. Some tarwan men were sitting in the shadowy corner, smoking from a pipe. She felt them watching her as she crossed the room, unable to rush by, she was barefoot and the ground was littered with debris. As she crossed into the hallways, she heard one of them whisper and the other snort a laugh.

The hallway was narrow, random broken furniture and other sacs of things all collected here. The family that lived in the other room on the ground floor came and went through a small window that opened into the alley as the door was barricaded in. She began making her way up the stairs, two heitesh women passed her by, forcing her to lean on the rail and hold the bowl over. 

“Oh, that sad asesh,” one said, before they even got to the bottom, “she is all alone now.”

“She’ll have to get married soon. An unmarried woman living here will cause a fuss with all the men.”

They continued talking loudly when they went out the front door. She began walking back up. The next floor had no doors and most of the walls around them hsd broken down. The two families that lived here were yelling, both had new born kei and several kai. One kai was being caned by a heitesh, she couldn’t tell if they were from the same family or not.

“Don’t be so nosey,” one of other heitesh yelled, having spotted her looking into their space, “I’ll send one of my sons to deal with you.”

She hurried along the hall to the next steps and ran up, trying to balance the bowl without spilling too much water. At the top of the stairs stood one of the asesh from the family that lived next to hers, he was only a year older, they used to play together with her sister and his while he was still kai. He saw her coming up and froze where he was, looking back to his door for a second before he took a step back so she could get by.

“Hi, Kahisa.” He said, “I’m sorry, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” she feigned.

“I’ll say a prayer to Eredaugus for your father,” he paused for a moment, “and to the Caretaker for you.”

“Thank you,” she stopped next to him, “why Zacsoth?”

“My mother said you were being married soon.”

“What?”

“Oh, are you not?” There was a small smile on his face.

“No.” 

She continued walking to her room. She didn’t hear him move. As she closed the door, he was still standing there watching her. She sighed and sat the bowl down on the table. Taking off her robe then her skirt, she searched for a clean rag and put it next to the bowl. She cleaned her face first, then ran wet fingers through her hair, tying it up into a loose knot after. She took the rag and soaked it, cleaning herself.

Kahisa had tried going to the bathhouse the day before, but they would not let her in, saying it was only for men. The bathhouse at the temple was open to women. She didn’t want to go there, last time two other kai girls tried to force her stay under the water when none of the tarwan were looking. Ever since her mother had gone to the Eternal, just before she was kai, someone was always mean to her there.

She had finished cleaning up and went to look for her other clothes. Unlike the skirt and robe she wore most of the time, these clothes were mostly unblemished and had some colour. They were her grandmother’s and her mother’s originally, both having made small repairs over the years. The skirt was a little tight around her waist as her grandmother had been a small woman even compared to her mother, but came down to her knees on the sides then hung between her calves in the back and front. Stitched together from three green pieces in the back and one white one in the front.

The robe was sleeveless, usually her mother had worn another underneath it to cover her arms, but Kahisa had always liked her arms being free. She had got her asesh tattoo as the names of her grandmother, mother and younger sister written on her left arm. She couldn’t read it but knew which was which and liked the way they looked. The ink looked a little purple in bright light, it made her think of the flowers that grew early in the spring. 

The robe was made of white and a muted yellow, each being one half of the robe, but the yellow folded over the white. The yellow also had periodic stitches of pink throughout in different line lengths. It hung down to her ankles but was a bit open at the front bottom that the white of her skirt showed through.

She took her mother’s white ribbon and used it to weave her hair into a braid. Her sister had made her a small pendant from a stone she had found in the river and tried a string around. Kahisa tied it to the white waistband of the robe. She went to the bed in the corner and moved it to the side. A small purse was wedged in a hole in the corner, she put it in her robe, tucked under the waistband to help make it flat.

With each thing she did to get ready, she felt readier, less fearful. These things of her grandmother and mother made her feel protected from people. She would travel with them now. She went to the window where she had put some flowers she found the day before and took them out of the jug they were in. She wrapped them together and held the bouquet close to her chest.

As she came out of the room, the asesh had come back up the stairs, his mother was standing at the open door ushering him inside, but the both stopped to look at her for a moment. He went inside and she closed the door, but Kahisa could hear them talking as she passed by.

“You said she was getting married.”

“She should be now, a young woman shouldn’t be on her own alone.”

“I think she’s pretty.”

She went down the stairs quickly, and the next floor without looking over at the open homes. Down again to the first floor, this time she went out the front. She expected the two heitesh to be sitting out front bickering like normal, but they were not to be seen.

Kahisa walked along the uneven stoney way towards the hill outside of town. She passed a few people on the way who all bowed their heads to her. As she got closer, pillars with bright banners lined the path and torches between them. A stone archway led into the hill, the symbol of the Tribune hung in the top, just out of any regular person’s reach. A priest inside saw her coming in and put his hands together to bow. She did the same.

“Welcome, asesh, do you need any help?”

“I know where to go.”

He nodded, “may your loved ones rest with the Eternal.”

“Praise the Tribune.”

She continued to a larger room straight down. A large pit of ash was in the middle, a ledge with carvings all around it. Some others were already here, kneeling at one of the pads around the edge. She went to where it was most opposite and knelt on a pad, placing the bouquet on the ledge of her.

“Eredaugus, carry my words to my kin.” 

She prostrated and sat back up, whispering so the others wouldn’t hear.

“Father, I know it hasn’t even been a week, but I cleared out most of the things in our home. I kept things of nana and ma, as I am starting to fit them now. I have the gift my sister made for me. If you have found your way to them already, tell them I miss them as well. Of course, I miss you as well. I am grateful for things you taught me after ma had passed. But I am not going to stay here.”

She bowed then sat up straight on her knees putting her hands in front of her, “forgive me.”

She sat back down, her head down more.

 “Since my asesh rite and your passing, people have been looking at me strangely, they all say odd things. Mostly the heitesh complain that I am not married yet. Tarwan men always try to talk to me when I go outside. The asesh who lives next to us I think wants to marry me. I remember he was stupid and mean to my sister when we used to play. 

So I’m not going back. I promise I will burn incense for you wherever I go so you can find me, I’ll make sure to light candles for you on Prophet’s Night. A priest of Nagarire is traveling with a group of people to the temple of Daumarun in northern Ahmier near Morence, I think he said it was close to Mayerinne. I will try to join the temple otherwise I’ll make my way to Mayerinne with the rest of the group after.”

She stood up after a few moments and began to walk back out. Looking back, she bowed quickly once more and left.

Glossary and Explanations